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Post-Christmas Post Office

[sigh]

I’ve been put back to work.  My servant has given me an ultimatum: either write this blog or forgo my daily brushing.  My response?

IT SHOULDN’T BE ONLY ONCE A DAY.

Doesn’t she realise that I, *I* am the centre of the universe?!

The sooner I do it, the sooner it’s done.  Then I get a brushing.

The servant’s camera is on the fritz [heh heh] with dust or something inside that she can’t clean out, no matter how she tries.  The other servant has taken the camera in for a service, so today’s photos are brought to you courtesy of that clicky thing that rings sometimes.

Items received 3 January 2013
Items received 3 January 2013

This is the aftermath of Christmas.  Most cats love boxes.  While I don’t mind a few boxes to play with occasionally, I prefer wrapping paper.  Knowing this, my servants left their wrapping paper for me to dive into whenever the catnip – I mean the inclination – takes me.

Babylon confidential

Babylon Confidential is first cab off the rank.  [What does that even mean?  Cats don’t use cabs.]

autographed copy of Babylon Confidential
autographed copy of Babylon Confidential

Above is a photograph of MY TAIL.  It’s NOT a photograph of the book, no matter HOW the servant has captioned it.

[disdainful sniff]

The servant has already read this book – like Claudia says in her interview, there are TWO WHOLE chapters about Babylon 5.  I supervised Claudia’s interview closely – you can even see me walk past about 3 minutes 8 seconds in, just making sure that everything was running smoothly.  Morgan Grant Buchanan also talked about co-writing with Claudia when I allowed him to speak to my servant.

Jo Dunn from South Australia was the lucky winner of an autographed copy of Babylon Confidential.  She’s not getting THIS copy, though.  Hers is coming direct from the States, so it might take a few days.  Or a few weeks.  The servant says I should say ‘thank you’ to Ben Bella Books for donating the prize and organising the autograph.  Why?  Why should I say ‘thank you’?  It’s not like they’re tearing it up to line my litter tray with it, NOW ARE THEY?

[Smokey is a good cat.  She doesn’t shred books.  Occasionally she’ll rub her face against them, but that’s as far as she goes – editor’s note]

MROWL.  [glare]  I AM NOT A GOOD CAT.  I AM YOUR OVERLORD, BEYOND CONCEPTS OF GOOD AND EVIL.  AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT.

Gates of Paradise by Melissa de la Cruz is a vampire romance.  The publisher says:

The young, the fabulous and the fanged rule the upper echelons of Manhattan society in book 7 of this fantastically addictive series from bestselling YA author Melissa de la Cruz…

Love and vengeance, duty and and loyalty, life and death, are all at odds in the gripping, heartbreaking finale of the Blue Bloods series.

In other words, the most cat-like of two-legs emulate cats by growing fangs, being graceful, beautiful and lusting after blood.  I can live with that.

[You don’t like blood, Smokey.  You won’t even eat meat unless it’s cooked – editor’s note]

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [glare]

Mroving on.

The New Rules talks about dating do’s and don’ts.  Unless you’ve been spade like me and choose to live an asexual life waited on hand and foot by servants of a different species, this might be of interest to you.  How to date in the digital world, managing your social media, spotting cheaters and players, this book sounds like a useful guide for potential servants.  Cats don’t like change, so you need to settle down to be able to properly focus on the really important things in life such as choosing the best cat food and deciding how often to brush your cat (SEVERAL TIMES A DAY).

Deltora Quest

Deltora Quest is an anime series based on a series of books by Australian author Emily Rodda, made into anime by director Mitsuru Hongo then translated into English.

Madman’s website says:

The evil Shadow Lord has taken over the kingdom… and only three people can save it. Lief, Jasmine and Barda have nothing in common – and everything to lose. They must embark on a perilous quest to recapture the seven lost gems of the magic belt of Deltora. Only when the belt is complete once more can the evil Shadow Lord be overthrown and the people of Deltora be free from tyranny.

Deltora is a land of magic, monsters and danger. Each gem in the belt of Deltora has it’s own magic, but together the seven make a spell that is far more powerful than the sum of it’s parts. Only the Belt of Deltora, complete as it was first fashioned by Adin and worn by Adin’s true heir, has the power to defeat the Shadow Lord.

The servant says:

I first discovered Emily Rodda when my oldest child was in primary school; she brought home Finders Keepers.  I made a point of trying to keep up with what my kids were reading but I also enjoy a well-written children’s book, so I read a lot of the books my kids brought home.  I was very impressed with Rodda’s writing, so much so that I nagged her to bring home the second Rowan of Rin series even though she’d lost interest after the conclusion of the first story.  I haven’t read the Deltora Quest simply because it was too difficult to access a whole series from a library, and libraries were my primary source of books when they were coming out.  (And getting my son to read was a challenge.)  I have since seen the entire story for sale in a beautiful hardcover book but the day I spotted that, I admit to walking out the door of the bookshop with a different purchase.

So.  I expect cuddles and scratches and brushes while the servant watches all 52 episodes.

King of Thorns

© 2012 YUJI IWAHARA / PUBLISHED BY ENTERBRAIN, INC./ Team IBARA

King of Thorn is an animated science fiction/fantasy action adventure.

Madman’s website says:

Panic spreads worldwide as the Medusa Virus – a fatal pandemic that solidifies the body to stone – threatens to wipe out the human race. One-hundred and sixty infected individuals are selected to be cryogenically frozen while a cure is developed. Kasumi is one of those chosen for the experimental program.

Forced to enter without her twin sister, Shizuku, her distress multiplies when she awakens to find the facility overrun with thick, thorny vines and ravenous monsters. As Kasumi and six others fight a losing battle to escape this labyrinthine nightmare, questions cloud her distorted mind. Where is her sister? Why did their only salvation mutate into a deathtrap? If they survive, how much longer do they have to live?

 This looks like a video for feral hunter kitty…

Beyond the Black Rainbow
Beyond the Black Rainbow

© 2010 Chromewood Enterprises Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Beyond the Black Rainbow is a straight up horror flick.  Madman says:

Deep within the mysterious Arboria Institute, a beautiful girl is being held captive by a scientist, Dr. Barry Nyle. Her mind demonstrates power beyond nature but she remains controlled by a sinister pyramid-shaped light. One day, she sees an opportunity to escape the facility. But first she must journey through the darkest reaches of the Institute, and Nyle wonʼt easily part with his most gifted and dangerous creation.

It looks creepy.  And the cover is red.  Hungry now.

[distant laughter at the self-deluded kitty-cat – editor’s note]

[GLARE]

Cruise of the gods

© BBC Worldwide

Cruise of the Gods is NOT for cats.  It involves WATER.  I am too traumatised to discuss this further, so I’ll just quote the website:

No self-respecting actor would be seen on a fan cruise… unless he was a true star

Andy Van Allen (Rob Brydon), the former hero of a cult 1980s futuristic TV show, Children of Castor, is now working as an hotel porter. In contrast, his ex co-star, Nick Lee (Steve Coogan), has since shot to fame in the USA starring in a blockbuster mini-series, Sherlock Holmes in Miami.

Things start to look up for Andy when an unusual offer comes along – the Children of Castor fan club has organised a cruise around the Greek islands from Istanbul to Athens and invite him to attend as the principal celebrity. Once aboard however, a combination of Andy’s cynicism, his fans’ adoration, a misguided sexual encounter and an unexpected death ensure the paradise cruise is far from plain sailing.

With his world spinning out of control it’s time for Andy to pull off the ultimate act which justifies the adoration of his fans – it’s time for Andy Van Allen to become a true hero.

 Mass effect

Mass effect

Wha-at?  Everyone knows that a great deal of MASS has an EFFECT.  It is an ATTRACTIVE force.  So…

OH ALRIGHT.  [grumbles]

Mass Effect: attracts kitties
Mass Effect: attracts kitties

©2012EA International (Studio and Publishing) Ltd. Mass Effect, Mass Effect logo, BioWare and BioWare logo are trademarks of EA International (Studio and Publishing) Ltd. EA and the EA logo are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc. © Mass Effect Project. All rights reserved by FUNimation Entertainment/Production I.G

Madman says:

Fans of the ground-breaking Mass Effect franchise shouldn’t miss this stunning motion picture experience born of an epic collaboration between the legendary Bioware and visionary Production I.G (Ghost in the Shell, Kill Bill: Vol.1).

Mass Effect: Paragon Lost is the prequel to the highly-anticipated Mass Effect 3 and follows the early career of Alliance Marine, James Vega. Vega leads an elite Special Forces squad into battle against a mysterious alien threat known as The Collectors. Stationed at a colony in a remote star system, Vega and his soldiers must protect the civilians from a ruthless invasion determined to capture the population for unknown purposes. Learn more about the Mass Effect universe with an unprecedented glimpse into the haunted past of Mass Effect’s newest hero!

HAPPY NOW?!?!

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Nalini
Nalinihttps://www.darkmatterzine.com
Nalini is an award-winning writer and artist as well as managing editor of Dark Matter Zine.

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