by Nalini Haynes
Oh, Facebook, how I loathe you; let me count the reasons. In the beginning we flirted, I caressed my keyboard in anticipation. When I started my Page, you loved me in return!
After Supanova in 2011 you allowed over 9,100 people to see my facebook page in one week! I fell for you, hook, line and sinker, vowing ‘until death do us part’.
You started seeing other people.
You wanted palimony; you demanded the rights to use – and make money from – my photos and my writing!
Worse, like an expensive mistress demanding trinkets, you demanded money for services rendered.
You decided to date other people. And you did.
About 5% of my followers saw my posts unless people liked and shared; even now, only 10% see my posts on a good day.
I gritted my teeth through our damaging divorce, slogging my way through the Court of Web Design, building a new family.
Finally, I received a decree nisi and launched my first website. How I celebrated!
Still, joint custody of friends meant begrudging contact with you, daily posts sent automatically from my website and sharing friends’ posts.
Sadly, what you did to me – denying me my friends and followers unless I paid up – you now do to others. My newsfeeds are bland and boring, with only a few of my friends and about 5 different pages appearing in my feeds.
Never mind. I now have a new love. Twitter may have lost the first blush of youth and sometimes wears trashy gold spandex – horror! – but she’s still more friendly and feisty than you in your narcissistic obsession.
Twitter may only have a year or two left but we’re in love. For now.