HomeAll postsJ. Michael Straczynski as spruiker

J. Michael Straczynski as spruiker

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J. Michael Straczynski as spruiker

J Michael Straczynski
J Michael Straczynski

J. Michael Straczynski, beloved creator of Babylon 5, Crusade, writer for countless other TV series, comics, etcetera, is spruiking Patricia Tallman’s facebook stage in his own inimitable style. Pat Tallman played Lyta Alexander, the redheaded telepath from Babylon 5, among many other roles. For more on Pat, go to IMDB’s page.  Previously published with permission from JMS in Dark Matter issue 7, back before I knew how to embed tweets.

JMS: ALL RIGHT, MARINES, LISTEN UP! WE’RE TAKING THAT HILL! I WANT 3,000 NAMES LIKING THIS PAGE BY TOMORROW! QUESTIONS?

JMS: THIS UNIT WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! THIS UNIT IS LEAN, MEAN AND OTHERWISE FAIRLY AFFABLE PROVIDED WE HAVE ACCESS TO POTATO CHIPS.

ToyDude: @straczynski SIR! YES SIR! #2149 SIR!

JMS: @ToyDude OUTSTANDING, PRIVATE TOYDUDE! UNFORTUNATE NAME FOR A MARINE, PROBABLY GET YOU INTO LOTS OF FIGHTS, BUT STILL, WELL DONE!

paul_brandon: @straczynski SIR, YES SIR, SIREDLY SIR SIR!

JMS: @paul_brandon NEED TO WORK A LITTLE ON THAT CAFFEINE INTAKE, PRIVATE BRANDON!

JMS: @paul_brandon AND “SIREDLY” ISN’T A WORD! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY!
wolfe_masque: @straczynski ~Salutes~ Sir, Yessir! 🙂 Anything for Pat Tallman!

JMS: @wolfe_masque SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE SOLDIER!

JMS: SO IF YOU WAKE ‘EM UP, TELL ‘EM THE WHITE HOUSE SAID IT WAS OKAY! (this oughta be good for a National Enquirer story or two)

paul_brandon: @straczynski Am I allowed to do them ‘girly style’? Am worried what I’ve signed up to here! :-/

JMS: @paul_brandon PRIVATE BRANDON, IF YOU WANT TO DO YOUR PUSHUPS “GIRLY STYLE” YOU SHOULDA JOINED THE NAVY, SINCE THEY INVENTED IT!

JMS: EVERY MAN WOMAN AND ELF IN THIS UNIT HAS WHITE HOUSE APPROVAL TO CALL ANYONE, ANY TIME, TO GET THEM TO LIKE THIS PAGE.

paul_brandon: @straczynski If I get 20 people to like Pat’s page instead, am I excused? 🙂

JMS: @paul_brandon “If I get 20 people to like Pat’s page am I excused?” YES PRIVATE

BRANDON AND I WOULD BE IMPRESSED. DO YOU *KNOW* 20 PEOPLE?

JMS: paul_brandon: @straczynski SIR, AM PRESS GANGING THEM AS I TYPE, SIR!

DMF: @straczynski permission to republish in DMF issue 7? (for published issues of DMF go to nla.gov.au/nla.arc-123161 – you will find some JMS love)

JMS: @DarkMatterzine PERMISSION GRANTED, PRIVATE! NOW GET OUT THERE AND DO THAT…FANZINE…WHATEVER…THING IS YOU DO.

BrianCBock: @straczynski Don’t drink and Twitter with the fucking caps lock on.

JMS: @BrianCBock MARINES ONLY TALK IN CAPS! YOU WANT ALTERNATE FONTS? YOU WANT 8 PT ITALICIZED HELVETICA? TRY THE AIR FORCE!

BrianCBock: @straczynski Comic sans?

JMS: THIS IS DRILL INSTRUCTOR STRACZYNSKI BACK FROM MANEUVERS AND I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ONLY 500 OF YOU HAVE REACHED THE TOP OF THE HILL! I WANT ANOTHER FIVE HUNDRED PAIRS OF BOOTS ON TOP OF THAT HILL LIKING THE PAT TALLMAN FAN PAGE BEFORE THE DAY IS OUT OR THERE’S GONNA BE ALL KINDS OF HELL TO PAY!

WHAT KIND OF UNIT IS THIS ANYWAY? I’VE GOT PRIVATE LYNDON BARRY LYNDON, WHO CAN’T TELL IF HE’S COMING OR GOING, PRIVATE ZOLTAR WHOSE MOTHER THOUGHT HE WAS A VENUSIAN MONSTER, AND FRANKLY I’D HAVE TO CONCUR, AND PRIVATE DOWNING WHO THINKS SHE’S A STREEET IN LONDON! YOU ALL NEED TO GET THIS DONE WHETHER I’M HERE OR ON MANEUVERS! I CAN’T HOLD YOUR HAND! DO I *LOOK* LIKE YOUR MOTHER?

WHO THE HELL SAID YES?

Per Jacobsen: So has your account been hacked, or did someone steal your shift button?

JMS: MARINES YELL, PRIVATE PEAR! IT’S WHAT WE DO!

Scott Ellis: This is why you shouldn’t take expired medication.

JMS: MARINES LOVE EXPIRED MEDICATION, PRIVATE ELLIS! IT’S WHAT KEEPS US IN THE TRENCHES WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE HAS LEFT! HARD TO RUN AWAY WHEN YOU’RE NOT SURE WHICH WAY IS UP!

TourGuide Ted: Despite being cute and furry I still obeyed orders this morning, Sir!

John Ryan Decker: Sir! Yessir! I mean Nossir! About the handholding Sir! Just gonna start running now Sir…

JMS: OUTSTANDING, MARINES! DIG IN AND KEEP YOUR HEADS DOWN, BRINGIN THE RAIN!

 

Nalini
Nalinihttps://www.darkmatterzine.com
Nalini is an award-winning writer and artist as well as managing editor of Dark Matter Zine.

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